I don’t want to feel broken
I don’t want to feel broken is a poem about the state of brokenness, that we all carry within us. It is a poem about how our society makes us deal with it.
von Carlotta Schäfer
I don’t want to feel broken
So, I fix myself
Over and over and over again
Sometimes a patch is enough
Sometimes I need the big guns
But no matter the kind of repair
Of my brokenness I’m still awfully aware
They say it’s okay
Look at that Japanese art
And it’s true
Brokenness wrapped in beauty doesn’t look so hard
But although it feels like I might shatter
I’m not a vase
And I haven’t got gold to repair my open veins
I don’t want to feel broken
Because broken feels like
Brutal honesty about my state of affairs
Desperation because nobody cares
Restlessness embedded into my every nerve
One small trigger and I might burst
Ominous thoughts about looming days ahead
Convinced I’ll stay forever mad
It usually only lasts a day or two
Until I can act normal again
Until I find the ultimate cure
Denial is what I’m looking for
So, let’s wait for the next time I’m honest to myself
And the stitches break
Broken is a state of mind
All neatly packed on the inside
Foto von Michael Walter
Richtig stark.